Managing up: How to Speak So Leaders Listen

Picture this scenario. You have a great idea for a new project at work, but you think your boss will immediately dismiss it because they’re so preoccupied at the moment. Or, you think your boss has misread a situation with a colleague and you want to try and help them see things from a different perspective. Perhaps you disagree with a decision that has been made and want to voice this to your line manager, or you want to request a change to your work hours, your job description, your responsibilities. 

These can all be high stakes situations, that involve a specific skill, often called ‘managing up.’ 
 

Managing up is essentially when we need to navigate some potentially challenging conversations with those who traditionally hold more power than we do. They can be fraught with challenges for a whole host of reasons - different personalities, the level or hierarchy in the relationship or organisation structure, the amount of self-awareness the people involved have, the depth of relationship between parties.

They're tricky because human relationships are complex. Add in a leadership structure and it's even harder.

I’ve had my fair share of these moments, talking to previous bosses to help them see another perspective, embrace a new idea or consider a new project. I am sure there’s been plenty of managing up of me, too. I know my team (and my boys!) have worked hard to perfect the art of it. And, it is an art. The wrong time, the wrong wording, the wrong attitude, and an important conversation can be totally derailed. Get it right, and everyone’s a winner. 

In this week’s podcast we look at “how to manage up” - how to advocate for yourself, (or others) with people that hold more power in the relationship: without being manipulative, passive aggressive or undermining someone’s position
 

Of course, the likelihood of success isn’t entirely up to us. There’s another person involved, and we can’t dictate their opinions or reactions. Their level of self-awareness and openness to feedback is something we can influence, but not fully determine or manage. But we can up the ante. We can prepare, we can build relationships, and we can consider the other person’s personality, motivations and priorities.

Here’s one idea you can take away, even if you dont have time to listen to the episode: think about this concept: ‘there is more that we have in common than divides us’. Where do you and your leader have common ground? Where do you have shared vision, prioritises and goals? Start with this, and build your perspective and opinions from there. And when the conversation goes down a direction you didn’t it to, bring the conversation back round to the vision, the goal, the shared sense of direction. Remembering what we have in common helps us deal with the stuff that we see differently. 

So, if you’ve ever had to advocate, negotiate, explain or disagree with a leader in your life, then this episode is for you! My emails and coaching conversations are often full of issues that relate in some way to the ‘talking to my boss so that they listen and understand’ and so we thought we’d help you out my collating some of the best wisdom on this topic. 

I hope you enjoy listening!

Love, 
Hannah x

As always, the more we know ourselves, and the people around us, the easiest this stuff gets. My new book equips you with so much self-knowledge that it can’t fail to support you in these types of conversations - you can preorder here!