Understanding How You’re Wired Without Trying to Fix Yourself
Hi all,
It’s one of those weeks. Months, even. I managed to have a car accident (yes, I also did this last January, I am nothing if not consistent - more on this in a later blog) and my son had major knee surgery. He’s on the mend, but it’s been a lot to navigate. It’s been a bit like having a baby but no maternity leave. Anyway. Maybe you're having ‘one of those weeks’, too. Maybe yours has a bit less drama, but it feels, off, somehow.
The kind where you’re functioning - showing up, doing the things, keeping plates spinning - but underneath it all, you feel a bit… off. Maybe your energy feels inconsistent. Maybe your emotions feel closer to the surface than usual. Maybe you’re tired in a way that sleep doesn’t quite fix. Or maybe you’re just quietly wondering why life feels harder than it looks like it should.
Nothing is wrong, exactly.
But something is asking for your attention.
This is often the moment when we assume we need to try harder, be better organised, more disciplined, more resilient.
But what if the opposite is true? What if the answer isn’t pushing, but understanding?
That’s exactly what this week’s podcast explores.
In this episode, I’m joined by Kate Moryoussef, author of The ADHD Women’s Wellbeing Toolkit and host of The ADHD Women’s Wellbeing Podcast. Kate’s work is rooted in supporting late-diagnosed women, but please don’t let the word ADHD make you think this conversation isn’t for you. Because what we really talk about is personality, nervous systems, energy, identity, burnout, creativity, and purpose. Things every single one of us navigates, whether we have a diagnosis or not.
This episode is less about labels, and much more about learning how you’re wired, and what happens when you stop trying to live as someone you’re not.
Kate and I talk about what shifts when you finally see yourself clearly. Not through the lens of “what’s wrong with me?”, but through curiosity, compassion, and self-knowledge. We explore why so many women feel burnt out and dysregulated right now, why sensitivity isn’t a weakness, and how misunderstanding your own personality can quietly drain your energy over time.
We also talk a lot about purpose, not as a grand, shiny destination (you should know by now I don’t advocate for this) but as something that emerges when your life actually fits you.
But if you want a few gentle takeaways to sit with right now, here are four reflections inspired by the conversation:
4 Ways to Better Understand Yourself (Without Trying to Fix Yourself, or Be Someone You’re not)
So many of us carry the belief that our emotions, energy, or needs are inconvenient. Kate reminds us that what we often label as flaws are actually signals, clues to how we’re designed to operate. Instead of just wishing you were different, how about stopping and listening to clues you’re being given?
Productivity tools don’t work if your nervous system is overwhelmed. Understanding what soothes you, what overstimulates you, and what restores you is foundational - for wellbeing and purpose. I know ’nervous system’ is becoming one of those in words or phrases, but it doesn’t stop it being hugely important for us to pay attention as to what is going on.
(Kate’s book has some interesting stuff on this, as does the book ‘Burnout’ by Emily and Amelia Nagoski).
Burnout often comes from living out of alignment with your natural rhythms, values, and personality. This is true whether you’re neurodivergent or not. The solution isn’t “try harder” - it’s “fit better.” Kate shares some of her own story on this - and I know there will be takeaways for each of us in listening to it (not just for your own life, but for those you love and lead).
When your work and life suit how you naturally think, feel, and create, purpose stops feeling like something you have to hunt down. It starts to reveal itself quietly, steadily, and sustainably. Again, I love hearing people’s purpose stories. Kate’s is no exception. Have a listen for the lessons that you can apply to your own.
There’s so much more in this conversation, from creativity and joy, to emotional regulation, to unlearning the myths we’ve absorbed about success and productivity. It’s one of those episodes that gently stays with you, nudging you to be a little kinder, a little more curious, and a little more honest with yourself.
You don’t need a diagnosis to benefit from understanding yourself better.
You don’t need to overhaul your life.
You don’t need to become someone else.
But you can start listening to the signals you’ve been overriding, and that’s often where purpose begins.
I’m also so excited to be joining Kate Moryoussef on 6th March for her live ADHD Women’s Wellbeing event! 💛
It’s a day to pause, reflect, and reconnect with yourself and a community of like-minded women. Use my discount code, HANNAHM10 for 10% off, to reserve your spot and join me!